Benjamin, William, and the Baron
Nobody alive can say with certainty that Benjamin Walker, William North, and Baron von Steuben were America’s first recorded male throuple. But nobody can say they weren’t, either. That’s precisely where the closet leaves us — not a denial, just a permanent, maddening maybe.
So, for the sake of argument, The Subdivision accepts the premise. Say they were lovers. Say the household they shared, the will that named them heirs, the letter calling it love and meaning it literally — say all of it was exactly what it looks like.
What would that actually change?
Nothing.
Baron von Steuben still took a starving, undisciplined collection of colonial militia at Valley Forge and drilled them into the force that helped win a war. Benjamin Walker still stepped forward at exactly the right moment with the French fluency the army needed and became indispensable to it. William North still served, still commanded, still earned George Washington’s own written praise as one of the most capable officers of the entire Continental Army. Three formidable, effective, trusted men — full stop — whose competence, valor, and consequence to the Revolution stand completely independent of who they loved in whatever private hours the war allowed them.
That’s the whole point of accepting the premise rather than arguing it. The men don’t get smaller. The history doesn’t get smaller. Only the old, tired assumption that it might have — a lie — gets exposed for what it always was.
— Behan, Improving American History one incomplete painting at a time.
